Who really is an enabler?
An enabler is simply anyone who allows something to happen to themselves or other people by their actions or inactions, whether good or bad.
You are an enabler if you play a role, and in this case a major role in allowing something happen to you or to someone else. The roles you play either makes you an enabler or not.
That you are quiet does not negate your role as an enabler. Silence, sometimes means approval or consent.
Making a wrong input or contribution equally makes you an enabler under certain conditions.
As a third party, whatever is happening to anyone, you need to ask yourself a question before you get involved, “Will I be an enabler here? This will help you to be conscious and deliberate in your contributions to such situation.
As a victim in any situation, it is easy to cry foul, play victim, call for a pity party, stone-talk the abusers but the question is, what role did you play in all these? Your inability to set boundaries in your life gives you out as a prey for the predator. Do you know what you want, what you should take and what not to embrace? Are you the type that takes anything all in the name of peace or in a bid to avert war and violence? When you keep taking shit, you soon become a dunghill.
What people do to you does not matter. In order to end such, identify the role you played and fix that. Such people will discover that you have courageously set a limit for them and they won’t dare go beyond it.
Before you blame anyone for whatever it is they are doing wrong, either to you or to others connected to you, you must ask yourself what role you may have played or are playing in making it possible for them to achieve whatever they have already done or are doing
Are you an enabler?
If you are one, then you are not qualified to blame or judge anyone. Let the corrections begin with you.
